Spontaneity
At some point, we are called to recognise and embrace a deeper, truer way of being: spontaneity. We are spontaneous beings. But it’s tricky given the ambient modernist culture that requires us generally to predictably and reliably show up for regular activity of some stripe. Living this way is "not how the world works" according to ‘them.’ But at some point, our futile attempts to comply with such a paradigm might leave us despairing our powerlessness.
But where does that leave us in regards to ‘disciplining’ our lives, making plans of consistent action? Well, not so much. Try this on for size: it's probably our unwillingness or inability to accept this natural way of being that's the source of all sorts of misery.
So for a change, maybe try not trying. Wu Wei. That's the ticket. It's the way of "I don't know what I'll do next." Plans are possible to some degree even if they must inevitably remain as sketches. But insisting on daily consistent planned actions might ultimately prove to be impossible.
"We shall see" should be our motto: Videbimus.
It can be sobering to realise that it's not possible to 'achieve' in the standard planned and self-disciplined way. But who knows what natural, spontaneous impulses might come along? Perhaps even daily habits.
On the other hand, what an adventure! Embrace the life of spontaneity, which is rather a lot of unknowing. To wake each day with a prayer of thankfulness and wonder. Isn't this what Christ proclaimed? "Worry not for tomorrow for today has enough trouble." Walk in this truth and see where it takes you. And trust.
Living spontaneously is an invitation to flow. And to not knowing. To live in the "only don't know!" To be called to be a different kind of being and to stand in and by that reality. "I yam what I yam!"
In this light, we don't interpret our spontaneous actions (or inactions) as wrong or pathological or resistance. Whatever we end up doing was and is inevitable and therefore ultimately correct. For the will of God is irresistible. Religious dualists hate this message. But even the Devil is God's work and will.
"I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things." - Isaiah 45:7
As I've said many times before, "Thy will be done" is a description, not a petition.
And so move as you are moved. Do as you must. And sometimes (perhaps more often than you'd like) fear might come. And so one must ‘do the work’ in this regard. Which is to say, welcome it, allow it, attend to it with loving awareness. But don't serve it tea! Which is to say let it go, don't grasp and cling. I'm sure it has better things to do, better places to be.
Life then is a ‘wait-and-see.’ Don't judge what you do, don't judge what you don't do. Seems simple enough LOL. What could go wrong? 🤦
Awakening boils down to the realisation that "it's all just happening." We could say that it's all the will of God. And nothing exists outside it. So fear not, because God is love and we are dearly loved.
We all move spontaneously according to our natures, as we are created. So don't get ahead of yourself. Wait to be moved. That's the only reality; talk is cheap. Action is truth. If you do, you do; if you don't, you don't. There's no point in lamenting or cajoling. Even though living it consciously and willingly and wilfully can be challenging to one's residual conditioning.
Be fully present to the flowing NOW. Anything else: hopes, dreams, counterfactuals, etcetera are all mental projections.
Practically speaking, what it looks like is a "focus" on and surrender to the living present, as it is, as it's happening, without involvement. Inhabit that.
"The Ordainer controls the fate of souls in accordance with their past deeds. Whatever is destined not to happen will not happen, try how hard you may. Whatever is destined to happen will happen, do what you may to stop it. This is certain. The best course, therefore, is to remain silent." ― Sri Ramana Maharishi